A Sad And State Of Affairs

December 14th, 2012 5 Comments

My Personal Victimization On Behalf Of The Contraceptive Mentality

When I look at a pregnant woman, I have this sense of joy, a sense of jovial excitement — one that is matched by few other feelings I experience when casting eyes on a stranger.  I love to see a woman, glowing in the prime of her pregnancy months, proudly flaunting the beauty and immeasurable accomplishment of the life growing inside of her.  Often these women are wearing flattering maternity clothes which seem to say, “Look at what I can give the world!  Look at what I have to offer the future through this growing bump and look how absolutely beautiful I can look while doing it!”

My husband and I, naturally, expected to receive the same reactions from others when we discovered that God had blessed us with a pregnancy.  We expected strangers to smile and ask the normal questions– “Oh how cute! When are you due?”  ”Do you know what you are having?” and of course “Is this your first?”  And certainly, we have encountered many of these inquiries.  However, what we failed to prepare ourselves for, was the hurricane of reactions from those who view pregnancy as a disease or something to somehow be ashamed of.  I know, it’s tough for some to believe that this reaction exists, but take my word for it– it does and it is devouring our society with a ravenous hunger!

From the moment I “started to show,” it seemed that complete strangers would cast vicious looks of judgment and disgust in my direction.  My husband and I began to notice all of the attention around my 6th month, when we would frequent our local mall, visiting Baby Gap as we eagerly waited to find out whether our little blessing was to be a boy or girl.  (This should be an experience that brings nothing but excitement and lighthearted anticipation for any parent.)  After the stares started to become a regular expectancy of my husband and my outings,  I shared my frustration of the reality with my mother– years of contraceptive practices, and specifically the anti-child mentality that has been engrained within the baby boomer generation, has resulted in a brainwashing of sorts.  She did not believe me, initially — how could anyone have such a hatred for the gift that is a pregnancy?  But then, of course, it happened; I was grocery shopping with my mother, one Sunday morning, when a woman in her mid-forties gave me what was, perhaps, the most blatant of repugnant stares that I had yet to receive.  My mother, without skipping a beat, looked at me with surprise, then turned to the woman and courageously stated, without reluctance, “Isn’t she beautiful with her unborn baby growing inside of her?”  (It’s just my guess that our stranger’s puzzled nod was not one of sincerity.)

The world of today, especially the western, “civilized” world  is anti-fertility, anti-child, anti-family, and consequently, faux feminist.  I must correct an error that I made previously;  I had first experienced this growing up as the eldest of a family of nine children.  (Yes, I said nine, as in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9!)  Anytime my family would venture out to dinner or for a movie, etc. we would receive these familiar looks of disgust, shock and even horror at the sight of our family daring spend time in public together (and this was when we only had five).  It is clear that the problem has become even more prevalent less than a century following the legalization of birth control.  This disdain for family and for children has manifested itself in a sort of idolatry of artificial contraception.

Recently, I emailed the writer of an article published in the ever-radical Huffington Post .  The author, Laura Stepp, considers herself an expert in feminism, the female psyche, and family psychology.  The goal of the piece was to credit at least partial success of the female, summer Olympic athletes, to their presumed usage of birth control (the presumption being on Ms. Stepp’s part, of course):

“Without the IUD, implant, pill and other methods, many of our athletic
heroines might have been home changing diapers or packing school lunches
instead of scoring soccer goals and setting swimming records…You have to
wonder how many more U.S. women would have been able to train and qualify
for Olympic competition were all methods of contraception completely covered
by insurance, as is the case in some other Western countries.”

In my letter, to which I never received a response, I complained and questioned Ms. Stepp, as to how she could accurately consider herself a fighter for women’s rights, a feminist who studies the foundations of family life and, at the same time, name such a dehumanizing victor as the root of female, olympic success.  Many, as she noted in her article, of these female olympians (13 to be exact), are mothers, juggling family life, as well as a successful athletic career.  I hardly believe that it would dignify those admirable women to attribute even a speck of their success, whether in the maternal or professional aspects of their lives, to artificial birth control.

Regretfully, however, this is the state of our society.  We have successfully fulfilled Christ’s prophesy on his journey to Calvary– ”Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children.  For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck.’” (Luke 23:28-29)

I began this article the day before my husband and I welcomed our beautiful daughter into this world, and as I look into her gorgeous blue eyes, I can tell you with the upmost confidence that that growing belly of mine was anything but a reason to glare.


  1. Hannah says:

    What the fauxminists never seem to consider is that some- no- many of us have no desire whatsoever to be Olympians. I had to laugh when I read that statement, because it is just so ludicrous. A movement who claims to be striving for equality and diversity demeans those who choose a different path. I can speak for myself in saying that I was not forcibly wed or impregnated, yet they have the audacity (or stupidity) to insist that women such as I squander our chances for the short-lived glory of an Olympian on the “menial” task of bringing up the next generation. We are the builders of the next step of civilization, and if they want to scorn that, well, the joke is on them.

  2. Marguerite Duane says:

    Enjoy your beautiful baby girl, especially in public! My baby boy goes wherever I go, whether to the grocery store, the park, a public lecture or lunch with friends. Sure I get stares, but I believe it is important for people to see now special children are. And if he needs to eat? I will breastfeed him wherever we may be, albeit discretely. Congratulations!

  3. Rose says:

    I always try very hard to interpret glaces from strangers with the most leeway possible. It may well be that some of these folks think childbearing is disgusting, but there may be other reasons for their scowls.

    A woman who has suffered from infertility or the loss of a child might find an obviously pregnant woman to be a reminder of her pain. Or it may be that the dirty glares are not because of the pregnancy itself, but because of the old-fashioned belief that it is immodest for a woman to be “showing” in public, and you are not wearing a muumuu.

  4. ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never gave suck.’” (Luke 23:28-29)

    This passage has begun to haunt me as I continue to see the sort of attitude you mentioned in your article. I’m only in my 20s and have yet to be a mother but I see it as well and I hear it…the hatred and disgust targeting those that are mothers. How in the world can people treat mothers as “statistics” for having children…as “selfish” for having children…”evil” for having children with disabilities….etc.? Children (regardless of disability, sex, or number) are precious and BEAUTIFUL reminders of where our priorities should be. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same.

  5. Rebecca says:

    I have experienced these looks as well. I have 3 beautiful daughters, and I am 26 yrs old. My husband and I decided to start soon after marriage and we love our life. I look young for my age, so the looks of disdain are very present. The faux feminists can’t seem to fathom that I have always dreamt of being a mother, not as a part-time vocation, but as my main job. I am looked at as less intelligent for not having another job while raising my children. What better job could I have then teaching, loving, and playing with the children we’ve created?

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